Hoch poch

hmmm.. I am not able to decide what do I write about. There is this huge sea of thoughts in my head right now. Where do I begin. How do I connect them? Are they issues or are they just thoughts. Is there a common solution which can untangle my mind so that I can think straight.What is the problem? Have I done anything wrong ,is it by chance, is it because I am supposed to learn something, carry forward some special message to my next life? What is it? Why this complication? Why can't I be in control? Why this quest for happiness, why dont I have a reset button. I am not asking for much. Is that the reason? Is this carrot being dangled to keep me ignorant. I am close but I am not finding the end or rather the beginning.I wonder if it is the same for all. Do I have to reach the end to get to the beginning.Do I cease to exist when I have found the answer. Why don't I have the courage for the only thing which matters to me? Is it some kind of a test?Or is it in my fate to forever look for the door. Will I ever find the reason if not the answer. Is it really this complicated or is my mind playing tricks with me. What do I do. Where do I find the angel who can guide me. Why cant life be simple!